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Fantasy X Ride
jarielann@gmail.com / 15 / Singapore

accidental tourist, delusional chink, poodle-lover

Friday, August 19, 2011


i hate how I whine about looking and feeling fat but I do absolutely nothing to lose weight. I hate the feeling of having to wake up every morning to look in the mirror to see if I've gained any weight. I hate how I will never be skinny enough like those ballerina doing endless forte turns. I hate how whenever everyone gets a uk size 6, I have to get 2 size bigger. I hate how whenever I put on a leotard for dance i feel embarrassed at the sight of my thighs. I hate how people say "you're not fat" because I know they are lying. I hate how I can't go a meal without food. I hate how I see myself in the mirror. I hate it when I see myself in pictures. I hate how in pictures, I am always the fat one. I hate how I cannot do many exercise and turns in ballet because there's a layer of fat over my muscle. I hate how I'm always the fat one in the class. I hate how I see myself. I hate how I play mind games with myself. I hate how my parents never seem to notice my struggle for perfection. But then again, it's going to work out someday.

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